FAA Regulations Should Indicate No Jumping

The Federal Aviation Administration, or FAA, is the agency responsible for maintaining all aircraft safety in the United States. They have determined that all travelers should listen to safety instructions at the beginning of every commercial flight. The frequent flyer can recite the announcements in unison with any flight attendant. Buckle your seatbelt, follow the lighting to emergency exits, life vests are under your seat, etc. etc. In the case of a real emergency, you’d be likely to forget everything no matter how much you’ve traveled. But, here are some rules they should probably start announcing if there are any 2-year-olds on the plane:

• Do not use the chair arm rest as a diving board. Specifically, do not jump into your seat, head first, as if it was a swimming pool.


• Do not play peek-a-boo (at least so loudly) with all the passengers behind you.


• Do not shriek in excitement so that it actually pierces the eardrums.


• Do not run up-and-down the aisles.


• Do not jump on your seat.


• Do not kick the seat in front of you.


• Do not crawl under the seat in front of you or behind you.


• Do not raise and lower your window shade more than 20 times.


• You do not actually have to say ‘hello’ to every passenger on the plane.


• Listen to your parents!

Alex and mom have been logging miles on airplanes for two years together now. Any hopes of it becoming any easier seem to be far, far off in the horizon. I’ve determined its best to never make eye contact with passengers around me, and to offer appreciation at the very end of the flight for the patience of those closest. While, the nearest exist row may be behind us, it’s never close enough.

Bye, bye plane

It happened again. Another mother was thrown off of another plane with her baby by an intolerant flight attendant who thinks she's got superpowers. Alex and I haven't been thrown off of any planes ...yet. But, I'm convinced its just a matter of time. A child can fly on your lap until he's 2-years-old. You haven't really experienced plane travel until you've tried to confine your 18-month-old to an area that's about 18" x 18". It's hard to know what's more exciting -- banging on the seat in front of you, trying to grab the laptop on your left, or spilling the orange juice on your right.

People stare at you when you have a baby. Some of them smile in admiration for the cutsy with you, but others glare in disdain for whatever your kid is doing. As more and more airlines continue to lose their cool, the only thing we moms can do is try to ignore the stares and glares, and do what we can to keep our little ones happy. Here's the stories so you know what you are dealing with:

Mom Says She, Toddler Kicked Off Plane
A woman said she and her toddler son were kicked off a plane after she refused a flight attendant's request to medicate her son to get him to quiet down and stop saying "Bye bye, plane."
Kate Penland, of suburban Atlanta, said she and her 19-month-old son, Garren, were flying from Atlanta to Oklahoma last month on a Continental Express flight that made a stop in Houston. As the plane was taxiing in Houston en route to Oklahoma, "he started saying 'Bye, bye plane,' Penland told WSB-TV in Atlanta. The flight attendant objected, she said.
"At the end of her speech, she leaned over the gentleman beside me and said, 'It's not funny anymore. You need to shut your baby up,'" Penland told WSB-TV in Atlanta.
When Penland asked the woman if she was joking, she said the stewardess replied, "You know, it's called baby Benadryl."
"And I said, 'Well, I'm not going to drug my child so you have a pleasant flight,'" Penland told the TV station.

Crying Child and Parents Removed From Flight
AirTran Ejected 3-Year-Old and Her Parents After Tantrum
Every parent has dealt with a child having a tantrum and causing embarrassment at the worst times -- in a grocery store, in a restaurant, and at weddings.
For a Massachusetts mom and dad, however, their toddler's tantrum cost them their flight home
On Jan. 14, 3-year-old Elly Kulesza and her parents, Julie and Gerald, were kicked off an AirTran Airways flight from Florida to their Worcester, Mass., home because Elly would not stop crying.
Elly, who had been a model passenger on the flight to Florida four days earlier, began to cry uncontrollably once she got on the plane, throwing a temper tantrum on the floor.
AirTran employees demanded that the Kuleszas calm down their child. When Elly didn't stop crying, the crew banned the Kuleszas from flying for 24 hours. Later, AirTran offered an apology to the family along with a refund on their tickets.

Nine months pregnant woman turned off bus because of a toddler tantrum
Joanne Uzzell was not having a good day. Nine months pregnant and on the point of giving birth – she had been to the shops with her two year old daughter Molly. The journey home was just half a mile, but hugely pregnant and with two bags of shopping and a petulant toddler, Joanne took the sensible decision to take a bus home.
But when daughter Molly threw a toddler tantrum on the bus, Joanne was told to either calm her daughter down or get off the bus. 'Molly had a temper tantrum and I could not make her stop — but the driver went potty and told me to shut her up,' Joanne told The Sun. 'I was trying my best to calm her down but the driver started tutting and huffing and puffing.
'Molly is two years old — what did he expect. I was nine months pregnant and had a crying child, but to contend with that sort of treatment was the last thing I needed.'
“He then pulled over and said that he couldn’t drive as he couldn’t concentrate. I asked him if he expected me to get off and he smirked and nodded. I felt like I had no choice.” The Wilts and Dorset bus company have since apologised to Joanne saying; 'We expect our drivers to behave courteously to all customers. We will try to ensure this does not happen again.'